Them Damned Critters

This is a short piece written for a group I belong to – the brief was to include as many cliches as would make sense! (The first sentence was mandatory.)
It was a dark and stormy night. The professor pushed his wire-framed spectacles up on to his head and scratched his greying beard. He opened the mullioned window of his book-lined study. In a nutshell, he was bored to tears by being cooped up indoors. It was a question of kill or cure, at the end of the day he had to find something to keep his mind occupied. He stuck his head out into the damp autumn air, taking in the scent of rotting leaves and the whisper of the wind in the trees. It had begun to rain like cats and dogs, but he could still hear the howling in the distance. He was brought up short by the knowledge that it was getting ever nearer and felt a frisson of fear. He withdrew into his inner sanctum and searched frantically for his little black book.
For a month or so now zombies had been out in force, having a field day, petrifying the countryside and laying it to waste. All traffic was at a standstill. The humble residents of the picturesque village were scared to death. The professor suspected that a werewolf or two had been thrown into the mix. A whole new level of terror had been added when vampires from Transylvania came out of the woodwork and joined the fray. It had seemed a wise move to remain indoors and wash his hands of any responsibility for the mayhem raging outside his secure mountaintop enclave. A very real concern was that the vicious monsters would find their way to his home, when he would be up the creek without a paddle if they attacked; unprotected and vulnerable. He could run, but he couldn’t hide.
He knew that some of the more ancient fortifications left a lot to be desired. Normally he would have avoided calling the police like the plague, but he had been brought up short when he heard the howling so close to home and was tempted to approach them with an impassioned plea. But he knew his shady past would not bode well in their eyes. He felt as if he was between a rock and a hard place and resolved to leave no stone unturned until he had brought the villains who had caused this outrage to justice. But to go outside would be the kiss of death. Needless to say, to all intents and purposes, he was trapped.


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